A Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer and give me a mop.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says,
'Hey, we have a drink named after you!' The grasshopper looks surprised and says,
'You have a drink named Steve?'
A man walks into a bar swinging a set of jumper leads above his head.
The barman looks over and says
"You're not going to start anything in here, mate!"
Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.
One: "Whew, it's windy today!"
Two: "No. Today's Thursday!"
Three: "So am I! Let's go to a bar!
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.
"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful.
"Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?"
"Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like crazy for both of them."
How is being at singles bar different from being at a circus?
At the circus, the clowns don't talk.
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