| Short Sports Jokes 2 |
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Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isn't an award. It's an appointment! Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated! Which insect didn't play well in goal? The fumble bee! What did the bumble bee striker say? Hive scored! What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill! What are Brazilian fans called? Brazil nuts! How do hens encourage their football teams? They egg them on! What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hic! What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence? A flat back four! Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled! What is the bank manager's favourite type of football? Fiver side! What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms! What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford! How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner! Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer! What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire! Which England player keeps up the fuel supply? Paul gas coin! Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time? Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time! Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom? Captain: Well, it could have been worse. Manager: How? Captain: There could have been more teams in the league! Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football? They keep drawing! Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? So that they can pack the defence! Where do old bowling balls end up? In the gutter! Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet? Player: I finished it in three days! Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground! How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it! Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play! Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw! Where do football directors go when they are fed up? The bored room! A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club? "Were the crowd not behind you" asked the reporter "They were right behind me all right", said the manager, "But I managed to shake them off at the station!" Why was the struggling manger seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty! |
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